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How Do I Love Thee?
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle
I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe catching cats
Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do
The cat is not all
Bad-she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls
Dig under fence-why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.
You may call them fleas,
But they are far more -I call
Them a vocation
My owners' mood is
Romantic-I lie near their
Feet. I fart a big one.
Valentine’s Day — A Westie’s View
It remains a mystery just why one day in February is an exception for every guy
and gal to show some special affection. Candy boxes shaped like hearts are offered
in all the stores.
Bakeries make heart shaped tarts and cards exude words of "amour".
I see my mistress burst into tears, when my master gives her...whatever, a card,
a box of candy or negligee shear.
What happened? I'm the one most dear!
As your Westie, the love of your life,
How dare you not to include me!
I may not be your loving wife, and your husband I'll never be.
But I am a family member too.
So don't forget me on Valentine's Day. I can't
eat chocolate, as you know, but a tasty doggy treat will say "I love you so!"
By: Kathleen May
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A West Highland White Terrier walks into a butcher
shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks
up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's
his turn to be waited on.
A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished
his purchase and noticed the Westie. The butcher leaned
over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted
today. The Westie put its paw on the glass case in
front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, "How
many pounds?" The Westie barked twice, so the
butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef.
He then said, "Anything else?" The Westie
pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, "How
many?" The Westie barked four times, and the
butcher made up a package of four pork chops.
The Westie then walked around behind the counter,
so the butcher could get at the purse. The butcher
took out the appropriate amount of money and tied
two packages of meat around the dog's neck.
The man, who had been watching all of this, decided
to follow the dog. It walked for several blocks and
then walked up to a house where it began to scratch
the door to be let in. As the owner opened the door,
the man said to the owner, "That's a really smart
Westie you have there."
The owner said, "He's not really all that smart.
This is the second time this week he forgot his key."
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